… well, just that.
We speak of ‘pornography’ as if we know what each of us is referring to exactly and yet, very often, some of us have quite different notions of what pornography is.
For some of us too, the word ‘pornography’ is highly loaded. It only takes some people to hear the first syllable and the look of revulsion on their face is enough to make even the most bitter of lemons seem an attractive alternative.
Its porn today and the end of civilisation as we know it tomorrow! Or that’s what some will have us believe.
The fact is that we seem to treat pornography entirely differently from any other influences, industries and forms of expression in our society. It is often whipped up with doom and gloom stories and tied, inextricably, to emotional responses that allow all sense of rationale to fly out the nearest open window, or, failing that, the minutest of cracks in the wall.
So, in an effort to try and put some degree of rationale on what is too often disproportionate and hypocritical scare-mongering that could so easily be voiced by the “WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!” lady from The Simpsons, I have compiled a short list (yes, another one of Bendy’s lists – as someone on Ask.fm accused me of doing too frequently) of myth-busting and sanity-inducing statements to, hopefully, reassure you that the end is not quite nigh just yet:
– “Pornography is…”
Well, what exactly? Saying ‘pornography’ and believing that it is one homogenous thing, is like saying ‘religion’ (there he goes again!) and believing that the grey-haired, cake-making, WI member who attends her local CofE village church every Sunday is the same as a suicide bomber in Fallujah.
The fact is, they are worlds apart in many ways, except for the fact that they both believe, or purport to believe, in a supernatural entity called ‘God/Allah’.
When it comes to pornography, there is a plethora of material ranging simply from displays of human flesh to penetrative sex and yes, on the extreme of the scale, to acts that some would describe as violent. (When I refer to ‘pornography’ I am speaking of legal pornography within the United Kingdom – much like I am referring to recognised religions, not cults, when I speak of ‘religion’). The media, and those who are anti-porn (whatever it is they are actually ‘anti’) will frequently have you believe that it is all one thing. It is not. At its simplest definition, ‘pornography’ is the visual or literary portrayal of acts of a sexual nature. But that is all that all ‘pornography’ really shares in common.
– You wouldn’t blame a wine connoisseur for the binge-drinking epidemic.
There is a certain snobbery in our country around the wine culture and those people who might call themselves ‘wine connoisseurs’. It is perceived to be a real skill and an indication of refinement within our culture. I have never heard anyone lay the blame for the thousands of young people who go binge drinking every weekend, often crowding our A&E departments, at the doors of the sophisticats we know as ‘wine connoisseurs’. Perish the thought!
Yet, however you put it, these people are consuming a drug, one that the Independent Science Committee deemed to be the most dangerous of all substances, licit and illicit. Wine, beer, spirits, alco-pops, they are all a poison that your body does not need. Taken in excess, alcohol has PROVEN negative side effects on both the individual and on society at large. In too many cases, it can also be directly linked to deaths. And yet, the wine connoisseurs of the middle and upper classes can happily sip, suck and spit on their poison, sound in the knowledge that because THEY are able to regulate their intake, they will never be blamed for the suffering of others who cannot, or choose not to.
True, I hear you say, but you might blame individual alcohol companies now and then for products and pricing structures attempting to appeal to the young and most vulnerable. And yet, when it comes to pornography, yet again, we see quite a different set of rules.
All pornographers, whether performers or producers alike, are usually tarnished with the same brush. We are ALL responsible for those individuals who may, or may not (because nothing has yet been proven when it comes to porn), suffer negative side effects from consuming it.
While the director of Cobra beer might receive a Lordship for his role in the alcohol industry, which is obviously entirely blameless for any negative repercussions on an individual’s life, we have yet to witness a porn producer receiving similar acclaim for services to the British economy and sexual expression.
– You were / are a BAD role model for our children.
OK, so maybe I have a personal gripe here. But I have heard it on more than several occasions and the level of hypocrisy here continues to baffle me.
Let me remind you that there are NO PROVEN NEGATIVE EFFECTS from the consumption of pornography. None whatsoever. I am not saying that there cannot be, but that none can yet be proven. Sure, that is not a glowing praise for pornography, of course not. But just bear that in mind as I rant on.
While the idea that an adult who is a teacher and who also chooses, in their own time (yes, OUTSIDE of the classroom) to participate in a legal activity which is participated in by consenting legal individuals which produces a product for the consumption of legal ADULTS which has currently no proven negative side effects whatsoever is utterly reprehensible in the minds of many, they would take no umbridge in the knowledge that their child is taught by people who, through their own actions and choices, indulge in activities that are life threatening and, in some cases, DIRECTLY so, for young people.
Are we really saying that someone who chooses to consume vast amounts of calories beyond their body’s needs, knowing that obesity is DIRECTLY attributable to DEATH, can be held up as a ‘role model’ more so than someone who performs in pornography? That a teacher who takes a few puffs on a cigarette at break time and then breathes the toxins over your child during the following period, knowing the huge amount of DEATHS DIRECTLY LINKED to both smoking and passive smoking, is a better ‘role model’ for your children than someone who is comfortable exploring the various avenues of human sexual expression for other people to consume and enjoy?
I’m not saying these people cannot be role models in some ways, but don’t have one rule for one and another for something else. This is nothing but total misplaced and disproportionate hypocrisy of the grandest scale! And why? Because its porn, of course. D’uh!
– God forbid, my kids might see you naked or having sex!
You know what, despite the fact we know they shouldn’t, they might indeed tune in and see me being naked on screen or having sex in a porn film.
Is seeing anyone in their most natural state doing something which is, undoubtedly, one of the most natural activities, irrespective of the age of the viewer, something that I, or anyone else should be ashamed of? Should I not be far more ashamed if a young person caught me sipping a glass or wine, chomping on a bag of chips or puffing on a cigarette?
While I can understand that some types of pornography may carry mixed and/or wrong messages, is the simple act of viewing human nudity or sexual intercourse really posing any danger or threat to anyone, including children? We deem it perfectly acceptable to view animals in all their glory and gawp at them during coital action in the name of ‘scientific research’ or ‘nature documentaries’ and don’t believe that this is something that children should be protected from. What, and more crucially, WHO are we really protecting here? Is it really the children who should be growing up in a society that does not estrange sexuality from part of the human experience at any stage or are we actually protecting the many adults, including amongst them the parents and teachers, who lack the confidence and ability to broach the topic with the openness, relevance and maturity that any truly civilised society should be capable of doing?
– It’s the violent and rape porn I don’t like.
And, you know what? Nor do I.
But its not the porn I don’t like, it the violence and the rape.
Funnily enough, I don’t tolerate violence or rape in any medium. Which is why I have little tolerance for such activities as boxing and wrestling. But, yet again, I don’t tarnish all sports with the same brush. I recognise that while violence may exist within some sports, it is the principle of VIOLENCE that I oppose and not the fact that it is a sport.
So, there you go. A few statements that so many often band around without taking the moment to think about the, as is so often the case, hypocrisy of their ill-considered statements. So, next time you decide to jump on that band wagon, just take a brief step back and ask yourself – is this really what I mean to say and, if I do, am I consistent in my opinion?
Most importantly, hopefully its made you realise that, as a result of the proliferation of pornography in recent years, the end is not quite as nigh as some may have you believe. At least, its certainly not any nearer because of the porn.